Prepare for the covenant of marriage with intentional, structured conversations about what matters most — values, conflict styles, finances, family dynamics, and the vision you share for your life together.
The Pre-Marriage Alignment program covers the conversations most couples defer until they are already in conflict. Here is how the first week opens those doors.
"Your values are the contract beneath the contract — know each other's before you sign."
Each partner lists their top five personal values — what guides your decisions, defines your character, and shapes your non-negotiables. Share your lists and discuss where they align, where they differ, and what those differences will mean in daily life.
"Couples who talk about money before marriage fight about it less during."
Cover the essentials: income, debt, spending habits, savings goals, financial fears, and how you each envision managing money as a married couple. No topic is off-limits tonight. Financial transparency before marriage is an act of love.
"You are not just marrying each other — you are inheriting each other's families."
Each partner shares how their family of origin handled love, conflict, money, and roles. What did you inherit that you want to keep? What patterns do you want to break? How will you handle family relationships and holidays as a married couple?
"Conflict is inevitable. How you handle it is a choice you can make now."
Each partner describes their default conflict style — do you pursue, withdraw, get loud, go cold? Share where that came from, how it affects your partner, and what you are each willing to change. Then agree on three rules of engagement for your marriage.
"Alignment on parenting before you need it is the most loving thing you can do for your future family."
Discuss: Do you want children? How many? How do you envision dividing parenting responsibilities? What values do you want to raise children with? What do you want to do differently than your own parents did? Get specific — this is too important to defer.
"Unspoken assumptions about roles become resentments. Say them out loud now."
Each partner shares expectations around household labor, career ambitions, caregiving, religious practice, social life, and intimacy. Where do your visions align? Where are there gaps? Negotiate openly until you have something you can both live with.
"Before the logistics — remember why you are choosing this."
Each partner describes the dream: the life you want to build together, the feeling you want your marriage to carry, the people you want to become. Not the checklist — the dream. Then share what you are most excited about, and what you are most nervous about, going into this marriage.
Access all 60 days of Pre-Marriage Alignment — plus every other program — for $1/day. Cancel anytime.
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